Three Loves

Three loves

There's a saying that everyone will fall in love with three different people, during three different stages of their life, and therefore experience three different types of love. I've heard this saying many times, as I'm sure you have as well. Personally, I never really payed much attention to it up until recently...

 The three types of love we experience are the first love, the intense love, and the unconditional love. The first love is usually someone you meet at a young age, you start out as friends, and then before you know it you are head over heels for each other and it feels like you're Troy and Gabriella from High School Musical. Eventually, the honeymoon phase begins to fade and then the little arguments start to occur and before you know it you don't even know what you are arguing about anymore. Then you take a small break and get back together, but then comes the final teary, painful breakup. It’ll feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. It’ll feel like the end of the world and you’ll never find love again. You promise to stay friends and you meant it then. But you’ll learn that things sometimes don’t work out that way. Now that I'm older, I think about how bittersweet it all was... How our first love felt so euphoric in the moment and you experience all of your "firsts" with this person. Your first date, your first kiss, but also your first heartbreak. Most of the time you do get over them, but you will never forget them and that's what makes it so bittersweet. 

 The intense love, also known as the second love and the hardest love. This love teaches you valuable lessons, teaches you the most about yourself, but also is another terrible heartbreak. You probably met each other through a mutual friend or at a party or through a dating app. Things start slow because you needed it to. You start to hang out on your free time and eventually you catch yourself spending every single day with this person. A month goes by and you're finally dating. They start by spoiling you, taking you out on nice dates, and things start to get serious. But like I said, during this love experience, you learn valuable lessons... As time goes by, things aren't like what they used to be. They become distant and their actions become questionable. The red flags you ignored in the beginning are now starting to have an affect on how you feel. You avoid bringing up an issue that's bothering you because you are nervous by what the outcome could be. You have a co-dependency problem with this person and this makes it difficult to leave. You sacrifice so much of yourself trying to save this relationship. You catch the betrayal and lies. You feel cheated, underappreciated, and worthless. 

You feel like you wasted so much time on someone who didn't even deserve a minute of it. This love teaches you what you want, what you deserve, and what you need. This is the love that will make you take a break from loving someone else and you start loving yourself instead. 

The first and second love will be the ones to help you grow, no matter how uncomfortable or painful it may be. It may feel like it has taken years of your life, but keep in mind that they’re preparing you for your third love.

 The third love, also known as the unexpected love. You aren't really looking for anything serious, because you are trying to heal. You build up the barriers around your heart and you become comfortable in your own skin. Personally, I don't think I've met my third love yet, but they say this is where you could potentially meet your soulmate. A soulmate is like a best friend, but more. Even though I haven't met my soulmate, this person is supposed to be unexpected after all... I'm still trying to figure out what a soulmate is, or what this connection feels like. I'm unsure of what to expect, but I hope this person teaches me things about myself I didn't even know. I hope to find love that helps make me a better person, and will challenge me to my fullest potential. I hope when this person comes into my life it changes everything, raises the standards, makes me laugh and feel like myself. There is something about a soulmate that you just can't describe or even put into words. One day I will find someone that eases the pain in my heart and and will remind me why all the other relationships didn't work out, and why I had to go through heartache after heartache. I hope when I find this person it will all feel easy and I won't have to explain to others how I feel about them because even if I tried it still wouldn't do it any justice. For now I will continue to look into the eyes of strangers for companionship, watch temporary people leave and momentary romances fade...Until the day I find my person. 

Sincerely, 

Hailey Wilt

Guest blogger