One of one
One of One
Throughout life, we all compare ourselves to others. Wanting to be someone else, or wishing we looked different. But why? Why do we spend so much time wishing we weren't ourselves. I have done this so much throughout my life. If you have ever met me reassurance is something I need. "Does this look ok?" or "Do my arms look big?" are sentences that have come out of my mouth more than I can count. I talked about this before in earlier blogs, but I wanted to go into more of my experience with this.
So why do we do this? Well, I don't think there's a specific answer to why we compare ourselves to others. We are simply wasting so much of our precious time and energy wishing we had someone else's life. Although this can be motivating to want better for ourselves, this can also turn into a terrible habit. You fall down this hole, constantly wanting different. At least for me, that's how it can. Comparing ourselves literally robs us of joy. This simple thing of comparing can turn into major resentment. "Why can't I have long hair?" "Why can't my car be better?" "Why are their grades better?' Constantly wanting what you don't have. Resentment my friends, resentment.
Of course like everyone I have had my fair share of being imperfect. More than my fair share. I think that I actually was probably the most toxic person I know at a point in my life. Just so negative. Hating everyone and everything. I needed to stop. So I did. I stopped hating everything and everyone and found enough courage to let some light in my life. As soon as I did this, I started being happy with being me. I don't know why I was the way I was. If you surround yourself with enough negative people it's easy to become negative. Or maybe it was the lack of support I didn't have. Or maybe it was just me being human.
So what changed in my life for me to change? Well, me getting older and being on my own definitely changed this. As I have talked about in a lot of my posts I spent a lot of time alone reflecting on myself. I was so self-aware of my comparison issues and realized how much it truly robbed me of life.
I started to practice major gratitude. Towards myself and other things in my life. I started to think every day of things I was grateful for. My friends, family, and myself. This really helped me.
Contentment is something else I had to practice. I can fully say I am content with my life and myself. I started to think about all the things that made me, ME. And how that should be well over enough for me.
Something else I had to put into consideration is the feelings I felt, a lot of other people feel too. You can't compare people based on their Instagram or Facebook. Because behind that picture is another human dealing with very human things. Practice being that raw and authentic person. Don't try to create this fake life for yourself that literally isn't even there. I mean to each their own. If that's what gets you through then so be it. But getting lost in that stuff is truly toxic. Been there. Trust me.
One of one. Yep. I am one of one. There are no other me's in the world. Just like there are no other you's in the world. Be happy about that.
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